"Let go."

These two words echo in my head.

"Hang on."

These two words echo in my heart.

Since he is so damn cruel to you, why are you still hanging on? What is there left for you to hang on to anyway? It's just the blurred reflection of his past self.

The keyword will always be "Past."

I dreamt of you last night. We were in Taiwan once again. The place and the feelings were so real. You were so real. The smiles on our faces were so real. All I woke up to was realization, that everything is no longer here. It's no longer the same.

I would drop a million tears for you. Or maybe I've already shed a billion of them.

"You don't see the pain he suffered, but everyone can see the pain you suffered." Pain? If it was just as painful for you, why did you have to choose this path? I just don't understand.

"You've changed so much, but him? He's still the same." The same guy wouldn't leave me here crying alone. The same guy would've came up to me and told me all he said were not his heartfelt words. The same guy would prefer life with me in it.

"Did you think of how he would feel when he see you like that, dancing with another guy?" If he were to be affected, doesn't that mean something? Why wouldn't he just tell me?

"Look at how happy he is now, now he has friends." Yes, but nobody knows him like I do. Nobody. Even you. How many of them are even true to him? Who was there for him before all of these? Who saw him through his darkest days? Only I saw through everything. I saw him get bullied by the rest and nobody was there to help him but I did. I saw him quarrel with his mum all the time, listened to him. Nobody else did.

"The way he treats you, he treats M the same way too." We are not the same. Me and her are fucking different you don't get it. I don't want to be treated the same way. He ignores her, there's no need for an explanation and she wouldn't be bothered either. Why me? He means the world. It hurts me a million times more than it would hurt her, and you said it like it's something admirable that he's done, to ignore us both.

"If I forget to return you your bag, isn't that good? Gives you an excuse to meet me again." So you do want to see me again?

That day. It meant something didn't it? But I screwed it up the next night that's why you wouldn't bother replying, isn't it?

I need answers but nobody is willing to fill me up. I'm just left here, with a million words unsaid, a million unanswered questions, and expected to let go. Then there will be people telling me "not all questions have to be answered."

"Take care of yourself."

These 4 words. Meant that you are long gone and moved on?

What exactly is life without you?