Theflawlessfelony.

Blue.

2012-01-23T01:41:00.002+08:00

Wow I just realised I own a whole load of blue stuff. Hi you can call me avatar or smurf.

Okay ending with a vlog of my room. Am too obsessed with my tumblr-alike room. Sorry for being so bimbotic in the vid, dk what gotten into me.

This is so random. Alright, happy cny everyone! Huat ahhhh!

Life since Xmas day

2012-01-19T22:48:00.013+08:00

Xmas eve

Booking of HK trip

A few days out with XL

Msia with Pri Sch peeps!

Pri Sch gathering - Steamboat outside my place

HK Trip with my Babes!!

Here's a small paragraph on the HK trip. The shopping was such a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee disappointment!!! Whoever who said the shopping there's good, YOU ARE A BIG FAT LIARRRRR. T_T Or maybe it's just us being noobs and not able to find the good shopping places............ The food there was great though -refers to pictures above- Prices are about the same as Sing food. At least we managed to locate a few yummy restaurants esp for Dimsum and Hongkee food. Not forgetting the awesome egg tarts ♥♥♥♥♥ It's a pity that the egg tarts can only be kept for at most 2 days, including the day which we bought it. Only got to eat one of it from the box of 8 which I bought home :( :( :( (sux to be too generous)

And for those who are curious about how my new room looks like, finally some photos for you guys!

2012-01-15T02:23:00.001+08:00

I shouldn't have bothered to go down that day. It doesn't matter to you or the rest of your friends anyway. I went down despite being sick, and you guys just took it for granted that I'd be there. Then she came and everyone made a big fuss about it. Hello? I was there, I'm not transparent? Yes ikr, she's the one who matters right? Gosh why did I bother.

This is a test of my poor memory.

2012-01-11T19:59:00.003+08:00

1. don't want tell la.
2. bad at learning things quickly.
3. Nic
4.
5. Average.
6. Mandy, Laopong, Nic
7. I've only read one actually. The Time Traveller's Wife.
8. Body odour, bad dressing sense, bad etiquette.
9. Laopong: independent, cheerful
10. The cutest one. Really can't remember.
11. Laopong
12. Not getting over the jerk of my past.
13. Woke at 2pm, dinner at Aston's with Bian, dessert at Salted Caramel with the rest of the girls, lepak and a good talk with Zh over midnight.
14. Becoming so much stronger emotionally.
15. A total slut who's so damn disgusting. I may sound crude but it's true.
16. Hedley's Invincible.
17. huh? when down?
18. I need a good smile.
19. None :(
20. Anything that taste like Kinder Bueno
21. Taiwan
22. I don't remember. That's a good thing right?
23. Been in this flat since forever.
24. you're very nice.
25. get into a good university and a course I like, do well and find a high-paying job, find a good man and get my dream house. an ordinary dream.
26. whether to remain nice to them or just f care since that's how they're treating me
27. work
28. any job with a high pay. i'm that realistic. because the world's so superficial.
29.
30. Being fat. Being unwanted.
31. Depends on how much? May quit my job.
32. A great smile :)
33. This got me thinking for awhile. I like how I'm so nice to everyone I care for.
34. I think to think about this first.
35. Paramore, Silverstein
36. Asked already what.
37. 1 or 2?
38. Roses, alone time together, a comfortable silence.
39. Doing up surprises.
40.
41. As long as my loved ones are here.
42. "You're one of the strongest person I know of." it comes with a second part though. "but you have a weakness, which is eww" Eww is a code word.
43. Yes.
44. Music from Itunes.
45. None.
46. Asked before.
47. Work. Tomorrow's promotions omg.
48. Him to be back. But nah, not anymore.
49. In quite a bad state.
50. Nice. (haha abbit bhb)
51. Get the fuck out of my life.
52. Haoxue saying she'll text me when she's done
53. I hate how I'm so vulnerable when it comes to eww.
54. Guys who are nice and have a great smile.
55. Anything that upsets you will upset me. I'm quite ordinary.
56. The boring people.

I'm sorry I left a few blank because I really can't think of them at the moment. I have ultra bad memory, and I refuse to think :s

2012-01-11T19:22:00.002+08:00

Hi people! I'm back from Hongkong!! Heheeee. I finally have some time to visit this space and do up a proper post. (but actually i'm quite lazy to.........................) Just words ok? haha.

I promised a New Year Resolution the other time, I think it's about time I do it up. 2011 was quite bad for me so I'm really hoping that the coming year would be kinder to me. So far so good :)

No. 1 This resolution would definitely reflect a little of the past. I want to get You, C and M out of my life for real. I'm tired of looking at You and C change so much. I don't even know what went wrong. Read a quote from somewhere: "People don't change, they just become more like themselves." Maybe that's what happened to you guys. I can never communicate with you guys anymore, even as friends. Looking at you would just remind me of all the disappointment and sorrow I've been fighting hard to overcome. It's time I did something for myself and not You. Since you guys can just ditch a friend like this for someone because of her looks, I don't see a point in keeping you guys even as friends. I'm tired of the dramas as well. One thing for sure, never would I regret slapping that slut and pointing my middle finger at her in front of everyone else. I've never seen such a shameless person before in my entire life. And to think that I even forgave her the first time. Well, time will let you guys see her true colours. If you guys aren't blind that is.

No. 2 Keep up with the rest of my friends. I recognize those who have been here for me and I would really want them to stay for yet another year, and more years to come. I thank God for letting me meet so many great people over the past few months, as well as grow closer with existing friends. I'm glad I found back my primary school friends. People like Mandy, Zhihao, Canice, Sherry, Jon, Xueyong, they are really an awesome bunch. I'm glad I grew closer to Bengyee and Jasmine too, the mutual bitching sessions have been great haha!

No. 3 To become closer to the family. This is one resolution which I've never fully carried out every year. I admit that I'm the one who's not making the effort. I'm not really a family person, although I understand the fact that the family's the only people who would be there for you when all else fails. Nobody can quite understand how tough it is for me to communicate with my parents. Dad has hearing disabilities, and Mum is a little mentally challenged, so I only have myself at home. It gets lonely sometimes, if you understand, that's why I'd stay out late almost everyday. But I really wanna thank Mum for allowing me to revamp my room. It definitely feels way more cosy than before, and the revamp brought me to someone :) I'm thankful.

No. 4 Get into a good University. I have a feeling my results are pretty screwed. Dreading the arrival of March so much...............urgh don't wanna think about it. GP's so screwed I'm afraid I might need to redo my Alevels this year. Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

No. 5 Learn guitar & dance. I need some new passion to brighten up my life haha. But first, I need to be more serious in my work and earn enough money to get myself a proper guitar and to be able to sign up for the dance course.

No. 6 Travel to Taiwan/Bangkok. I really really really really really miss Taiwan alottttt!!!!! Haha I've been whining about Taiwan since forever. Going to Hongkong made me miss Taiwan even more because it's so much better than Hk in terms of the shopping :( I'm owing so many people so much money now so I guess this resolution would need quite some time to get checked. AH SO SAD.

Dk what else already laaaa. SAYO HAHA.

2012-01-06T00:50:00.001+08:00

SEE YOU ON TUESDAY BABIES ♥

2012-01-05T01:52:00.001+08:00

Fell ill, just a few days before I fly to hk. Really hope I can recover fast enough to be able to enjoy fully the trip + don't get birdflu.

it's already 2012. I spent my days with loved ones :) countdown was really awesome, we celebrated it at zujing's hotel room at Fullerton. The view was totally spectacular. Never in my life did I see such pretty fireworks. We didn't manage to reach the place for the countdown to 2012 though, everywhere outside the hotel were blocked zzzz. But just in time for the fireworks!

New year's day. Planned a primary school gathering at my place. Steamboat! Its really tiring to be an organizer....bought food early in the morning at 8am, came home to sleep for just a few hrs, bought food again, carry tables over to my place, carry chairs, carry ice, set things up etc. It was quite successful I felt, the number of people who turned up was better than expected :) but it was quite awkward with the different groups of people....

2Jan went to Msia!! Finally me and mandy's plan for Msia was carried out ^^ shopped around city square mall. Bought so many things with one another, heh we so gay. The movies there are freakinggg cheap!! 'Same price different currency' lol. Came back to sg to have supper and a very long htht within the group. We talked for 5 hours, can't believe it.

3Jan Henderson waves after work! The view's superb but we didn't have a camera :( yeap and that day was the day I started falling very ill

2011.

2011-12-27T01:33:00.001+08:00

Since I can't fall asleep yet I shall do up a new post on year 2011 since it's about to come to an end. Pardon my bad memory though.

This year has been like such a roller-coaster ride for me. Most of you should know by now, that I lost the person who meant the world to me. And with it, came a lot of dramas here and there, mainly due to myself because I still choose to believe that things will turn out differently. But for now, I guess I lost all hopes. I really deserve so much better.

But of course, I'm glad that I'm lucky enough to gain someone special from my loss. I realized there are actually people who are willing to be there for me. All the dramas just sort of blindfolded me. '生在福中不知福' that applies to me pretty well.

After the loss, I gained alot of friends from everywhere and started meeting up with people whom I've lost contact with since long ago. Mandy's my biggest gain of all, my new found soulmate.

Started picking up all the different vices too. Picked up drinking over the June holidays, started to club more often, tried sheesha. But no, I'll never ever touch the cigarettes. These definitely made me a changed person. People have been telling me and I've noted it myself too. Just for this period till I finally become independent I guess.

This year's also the Alevel year. Been up to a lot of studying, if I didn't remember wrongly haha. Started mugging at the place where I mugged for the O's again: khatib macs. Met many people from there. It was really a joy to see and mug together with all of them, the feeling that you're not alone in the battle.

Broke down during the A's period. It's the first time ever I cried over studies. Felt so damn hopeless after GP and Maths that I wanted to just give everything up.

Got into a huge fight with mum. Almost wanted to leave home and to stay at laopong's house. Least things are fine now, thanks to my kind neighbours.

Got closer with the people from my CCA as well as my classmates. The shuffling in the darkroom and the wobble, haha internal jokes. Really such a joy to be around the photog people but sadly, we ain't as close again.

Ah this is getting boring because I can't really recall what happened in the earlier part of the year. Shall just make do with this. The next post shall be new year's resolution then. This is late but, merry christmas xoxo.

Making room for what feels good.

2011-12-20T22:34:00.014+08:00

Food for your eyes! (am just too lazy to blog in detail.......)

A&F Hunks @ Knightsbridge a day before they were sent back to their countries. Sherica's idea. She's a total fangirl.

Nights of partying with my babies.

Got my room revamped, with the help of my long lost Pri Sch friend Zhihao and Tianchong who happens to be my neighbour, plus Mandy. Not forgetting Mum who has been so nice to me these few days (and i find it quite weird................) The furnitures are not in yet though, they'll be coming tomorrow. WEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~ Anyway, my room's totally black now with only one wall painted blue.

Sentosa with my new girls <3 AKA Siaokias. Alright the name's damn bad, because I'm the one who came up with it zzz.

Night cycling with Pong, Bao and Nut.
Craziest shit ever. Cycled from East Coast to Changi Village and back to East Coast. Got lost in Tampines, and ran across a highway.

These pretty much summarizes my days after A's.
By the way, do catch One Day and Mission Impossible when you've got the time. Awesome movies (Y)

As you get older, you just live and learn to shrug your shoulders and be the bigger man.

2011-12-17T05:47:00.001+08:00

Life's been good. I've been lying previously when I said this sentence, but this time it's finally for real. I feel so happy for myself :')

Found a new bunch of friends, lost a few ones. I've learnt that life's all about losing and gaining, learning and accepting, forgiving but not forgetting. I've never thought that I would be so happy once again, from the very bottom of my heart, and this time it's the kind of joy that I have for myself. I'm finally leading my own life. I'm kind of surprised actually about how I managed to break through, but it's good, it's all so good, finally :)

2011-12-11T19:32:00.002+08:00

I thought I was important enough. I spent these two days with you, realized so many changes. You are no longer the same, but I just don't bother, do you know that? You won't even remember the things I told you, the times I fought for you, the joy we ever shared. You are like the ghost of my life, I will never be able to get you out of my head, my heart. How can you be so cold-blooded like this? I remember when you fought for me too. It was just a year ago. It wasn't that long ago, was it? I remember every single thing, yet you've forgotten them all.
You forgot that you almost picked up a fight with hweeyoung last year because you don't want to lose me, you forgot that you went to khatib after school almost every day and said it's because you feel closer to me like that, you forgot that you woke up so early to come to my house and fetch me to school at 6 in the morning, you forgot that you came to my block's staircase and flashed me papers which wrote "hello there the angel from my nightmares :) I know I’m not a romantic or expressive kind of guy but I hope youre touched by this. I less than three you", you forgot that everytime i went off leaving my phone with you you'd check it, you forgot that i went to the hospital because of you, you forgot that you bought me flowers and came everyday and told me im all that you want, you forgot that when we lying on the bed you told me that you will never let me go again and that we would last forever now, you forgot that just this year you told me you are serious now, you forgot.

It's either you never did or always will.

2011-12-09T02:14:00.003+08:00

I came across a blog whose words are so relatable. At least I'm not the only one going through such an ordeal. But she's so much more blessed than I am. Ok why did I forget about what I read from a psychology book months ago -slaps self- I must stop comparing with others in order to be happy.

You know, all my life I've been helping people out in solving their problems, but nobody actually bothered to even take a look at mine. But I'm lucky to have a few nicer friends who would randomly pop by and ask me how I've been, I'm sincerely grateful for their kindness. People like xiaobai, blodwen and yanjun, they're really such kind souls :') Actually, it's really satisfying to get to be of some help to the people close to me. Even though they might not appreciate it wholeheartedly, but it's the giving that's warming. As long as they're happy, right? I remember tweeting something about it being a wrong decision from the start, I was wrong about being wrong I guess. Today i walked past the fire post, and I recalled what happened that night. Doesn't matter now anyway.

--

Leading a brand new life now.

Been partying so much lately that even people are starting to ask me why I do on Formspring..........it just helps me forget about life for the night, can't isit??? Doesn't mean clubbing=bad girl right? :(

Monday night:
Post-prom at Zouk was one of the most enjoyable nights I had. Me and Jasmine brought the AJ troop in, adding to the already-packed space by CJ NY and RJ. I had a feel of how it was like to be a ticket distributor that night!! Siao one, had to collect money and get tix for 20 people. Over $400 was in my wallet. HENG AH NOBODY ROBBED ME. I remember making a fool out of myself inside, and outside. Fell on the stairs, read out their names to prove that I wasn't drunk, going up the stage to dance, spilling Ken's $80 worth of shots, losing XL and Mandy half of the time...............ruined my reputation liao la T^T

Wednesday night:
IT WAS THE MOST ENDURING NIGHT EVA. We cycled for 6 hours, a total of 35km. CALL US GODS. Alright it was nothing compared to the Standard Chartered 42km runners, SALUTE. We cycled from east coast to changi village for a plate of Nasi lemak and a cup of ice milo and back again to east coast. Got lost in tampines and when we asked passersby for directions to east coast, their faces were EPIC! -laughs hysterically- Crossing the expressway was still the best of all. Almost got ourselves killed lor, I bet the drivers who saw us running across must be like 'wtf these girls doing?!?!' But anyway, we reached back to East Coast safely and bao's dad drove us home THANK GOD.

Thursday:
Out with Joann! Horrible, horrible start to the day, with a bad sore throat, numb legs and flu. Luckily I miraculously got better through the day. Caught New Year's Eve which was....not as nice as the apple show hahahah. It wasn't bad too. Saw a couple of 1210 peeps, SO MALU PLEASE AFTER MON NIGHT. *hides behind the bushes*

Sorry ah not much photos.

2011-12-04T13:20:00.001+08:00

Had quite a lot of fun for the past few days!! =^.^=

Headed out for a shopping trip/job hunt trip with Xinlin, party/meetup session with Angeline and the ahbeng hair boys, best lepak/guitar session with Prashan, party with the girlssssss Jasmine, Mandy, Sherica, Cheryl and my new friendssss.

Friday's partying was the best I had so far. But the sad thing was it ended way too early, it wasn't even 3!!! We were all mad that night from my Jim Beam <3 Helped Mandy get the bartender's number hahaha, that's how crazy we were.

Hope Monday's post-prom would be as good as that ;)

☺

2011-12-01T16:22:00.001+08:00

This year has been the worst ever. Must be karma hitting back on me. I need to find some sort of liberation.

2011-11-26T16:01:00.001+08:00

Home is where I charge my itouch and phone, sleep, shit, pee, bathe. Oh and get screamed at for everything. Yeah, that's about it.

2011-11-26T00:22:00.001+08:00

It was one of the worst nights last night. All alone, I started thinking about life once again. This time I felt so hopeless. Well, not as though I haven't been hopeless before... All of my 18 years of life, all that I've been capable of, was to study and to give. I've been taught that studies are all that matters. I ventured out to this arena called Love. I found myself in there. Sometimes I regretted it, sometimes I didn't. Ultimately, it changed me, and taught me so much more things out of the textbooks and notes. I battled in this arena and fought so hard, because it's the only thing I believed that was true. I lost, I lost so badly. Bruised and scarred, I dragged my feet out. Was it worthed it actually? I thought he was the only person who understands, who would feel for me, but the truth is, all you ever will have is yourself. It wasn't his fault actually, I was the one who was too demanding, that I got to admit. Well it was because I was more than willing to give anything, so I demanded the same things too. I was the one who ruined everything, and ruined myself.

I sat on the couch yesterday, realizing how pathetic my life was. Quarreled with mum over the internet bills again. I really want a place where I can call home. Every single time I get back home, I feel as though it's somewhere I don't belong to. I feel ever more miserable being here than anywhere else. Others say family is where comfort is, yet mine has none. I have to face the same old torment of trying to communicate with the both of you at home every time I get back here. No sense of belonging.

Exactly where, do I belong to?

Struggling through everything, I really wonder what I'm actually capable of. I began doubting myself. I don't see a point in putting so much effort to actually stay alive, honestly. Gave in so much for love yet all I got was denial and pain, coming back home hoping for some kind of contentment yet it was just another battle, putting in so much effort in my studies but truth is, isn't it all because of money? Money money money, every damn thing is about wealth. Why did He make some people richer than others without having them putting in any effort at all? Why do people like me, have to go through so much bullshit yet at the same time have to constantly worry about burnt pockets as well?

It was the first time I COL (cried out loud) at home without bothering about what mum would think of me, whether she'd worry or not. Well, she didn't bother to ask. Haha, that actually made everything worse. Why do I bother, really? Bother trying to find a job right after A's while others plan to have all the fun they can, just because I want to lighten the family's financial problems. My responsibilities? Then why is it that she can stay home without any worries and watch the tv for the entire day not considering about the depleting bank accounts and unpaid bills? Fking unreasonable. I just want to lead a life that's just like the rest, can't you make it possible for me?

Just get A's over and done with.

2011-11-23T18:05:00.001+08:00

"I feel a little lost, hollow on the inside and feigning on the outside. It is especially difficult when everything is choked up. A small part of me always believed that He is watching over me but sometimes, I just feel forsaken and forgotten. I had not lost my faith, just a little shaken.
Sometimes, the ties between humans are just bizzare. They are so prone towards guarding themselves that in the process of protecting, there seem to be a trail of hurt and tears left somewhere.
I am but, mere human, why cant anyone just open their eyes and see that I am so vulnerable. I may behave tough,nonchalant but I am still human, I am made of flesh, not stones.It always seem like a burden to pour my inner most thoughts to other people and most often I always find myself retreating to my safezone hoping that someway or another, every broken part of me can be healed and restored. I just want to be remembered, just want to live a life that leaves an impact on the people most important to me.
I always think, who will miss me if one day I am gone. Will this make any difference to their lives or are they going to move on like nothing significant had happened. I am just so selfish, always wanting to take for possession the things/people I want close to me but this is also because I am so fearful, so afraid of being abandoned.
I hate this part of me and everytime when something invoke this specific trait of which I detest,I deny. Deny that I am ever like that and let my smile lead the day.

The only part that kills are the memories, ironically, craves to be forgotten and to be thrown into the abyss of this crazy mind."

2011-11-21T23:06:00.001+08:00

Society shaped us into such scary creatures who bother too much about looks.

Half down

2011-11-17T13:18:00.001+08:00

Hiiiiii! I'm officially done with 2 weeks of A's and have just 4 more papers to go~~~~~~ THIS IS EXCITING I CAN'T WAIT FOR 29TH TO REACH ^^

So for the past few weeks my life has been filled with mugging sessions with awesome people (trying to find the joy of cramming everything in our minds for A's). Visited my favourite macs for a couple of times for some overnight mugging with Angeline. But seriously, the crowd there is uber......noisy. With their dice games (which every other macs has too) and especially after 3am in the morning when all the clubbers and drunkards would make a fuss out of the place. -here's my middle finger to you- Oh and one of the nights we headed for starbucks instead since she needed caffeine. Awesomely, I fell asleep halfway through and woke up 3 HOURS later WOOHOO. Can anyone beat that? Not mentioning that she and the barristas attempted to wake me up and I had no clue about it hahaha. Conclusion: I sleep like a dead person.

Yup we also celebrated birdie's birthday! It was great to meet the girls just a few days before the papers started. Moral encouragement for one another (L)

Urmmmm what else.........
Catched a few good movies too. In time, paranormal activity and tower something lol I can never remember the name of that show. Woodlands' Cathay is epic, the screen broke down for 2 or 3 times during the show. And to recall that Baby told me that she went through the same agony while watching PA3 rofl but I guess we were luckier to actually finish watching the show. K conclusion: don't go woodlands for movies anymore. (or maybe you can use this as an excuse to con the manager for some nachos..........mwahaha)

2011-11-01T23:07:00.001+08:00

I've been burying my head in gp notes for the past two days. Am here now because I find the image below so relevant to the society we live in.

Yeap, after all, we are all humans.

2011-10-30T10:45:00.001+08:00

Shall do up a quick post while waiting for Mos to open.

It's 9 days till the start of A levels. I'm starting to lose the vibe to this and it's freaking me out. Now all I want is to get it over and done with. Just like what Eric said, 'i no longer bother whether it's an A or a B I just want it to be over asap.' really losing the momentum, someone save me :(

And the scariest two words from the English dictionary: What If. I don't want to regret giving up at this point in time when I get back my results next year. So I really hope I can endure and put in more effort just for this coming month. ITS JUST A MONTH, JY PS!!!!

All that I believe in,

2011-10-29T02:19:00.001+08:00

2011-10-18T21:00:00.001+08:00

I've been typing and deleting, typing and deleting for countless of times now. No idea what to say here, what can be said here and what I want to say here.

So this is all that i managed to come up with - I really admire those who are able to do well even though they've been slacking through their entire jc life.

Life's pretty unfair. That's all.

2011-10-18T10:09:00.001+08:00

Truth is, I don't know where I'm heading in my life. I'm just taking it day by day. And as time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself. But why does it seem as though these problems aren't getting any lesser, but instead, the pile's increasing everyday. I'm so worned out.

They've promised that dreams can come true. But forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too.

2011-10-12T22:28:00.001+08:00

I thought you would make things better.

2011-10-04T19:39:00.001+08:00

“I tried so hard. You know that, right? I tried harder than you could ever imagine. Now, here I am, trying my best just to forget everything. Every piece of you. The way you smell, the feel of your skin. I can still feel you, I think I always will.”

I really don't care what others think of me. All I know is I don't have the ability to lie to myself. What makes me happy, I know it the best. And I'm so fucking tired of myself. I really need an escape from all these fucked up bullshit.

Nobody would ever understand how it's like to be in my position. Even though I have everything one could ever want, there will always be this one person I would give up everything for. It's not about not treasuring what I have now, and it's not because I'm used to him, it's because he's really all that matters. There's only one word to describe myself- Fool.

2011-10-02T10:31:00.001+08:00

Been a barbarian for the past few days coz my mio got cut off thanks to Mum who refuses to pay the bill.

October started off super badly. My phone KOed, got stalked back home, my wireless got cut off, the weather not being in my favour.......... So I spent 300bux on my new phone. Screw that.

Prelims results were ok I guess. Got to look at the percentiles first. Have yet to get the results for econs tho, I hope it won't be another disappointment :/

Yeap ok bye.

Post-prelims

2011-09-26T00:33:00.001+08:00

Had a great weekend after the Prelims! Met up with my babes and did some catching up :)

Sat was steamboat with the babes at bao's house! Got damn bloated that I almost puked. Tried Choya for the first time, it's damn good I would say. And I've got to mention, bao's maid is (Y)!!!

Today was shopping + pub with Xinlin. Got so tempted by all the stuff at bugis street but I had to control myself coz I spent way too much for the past few days. Sux2notbearichkid. We climbed up to timbre oldschool but guess what, it was close OMG TOTALLY FOL. The extremely long staircase and the super bad weather.....ZZZ. Settled for Acid bar in the end. Well it's cheaper and air-conditioned, much better than timbre at least. The cream pasta i had was damn good! Forgot its name tho. Plus we were the only two in the bar for around an hour, super cool felt like some VIP. I know I know, I'm just lying to myself, cannot joke isitttt (tryna imitate mr herd) But the waitress just had to ruin the mood urgh ()/&@?!;#%^*+= Anyway it's such a depressing thing to miss the f1 race ): ): ):

Back to reality tomorrow.

2011-09-24T10:19:00.001+08:00

Prelims is O-V-E-R!!!!

Hehe am enjoying my own post-exam activities for the weekend ahead. Caught a couple of movies: contagion and Johnnie English. The latter was damn gooood, had such a good laugh :) Didn't get to ease my craving for Aston's though, me and Huilin reached too early and everything was still closed so we settled for the food court instead sighhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~ It was quite an unfortunate morning that day, first the movie timing was 530pm when we reached at 10 (-.-"), then we had to miss Aston's and the train to Jurong East was delayed by 15mins IT WASN'T EVEN 12PM YET. But luckily the rest of the day went well. Successfully watched our movie which was quite a disappointment......and did tons of shoppingz!! Heeee ^^ Oh did I mention that Shaw Lido is very much like a 5star hotel now?? Seriously it is!!! You guys should check it out if you haven't.

Went for some Teoheng after school yesterday. It's been so long since I've touched the mic, felt so good :D Anyway the area wasn't that bad, but I still prefer Kbox more.....loyal supporter?

Picturez!

People aren’t dolls; you can’t just play with them and then put them back in the box.

2011-09-21T11:05:00.004+08:00

Yay it's just down to a last paper for Prelims! Which means it's just 6 more weeks till the final lap - the A level's omg ANXIOUSSSSSS.

Got to come up with a plan for post A level's activities soon............. that shall be my motivation to study hard hohoho.

Let's see....................

Genting!
Overseas with my babes ♥v♥
Get a proper job
Clubbingz
Flea markets
Taiwan dramas LOL
Bungee
Driving license

Can't wait~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomorrow will mark the start of my slack weekend. Movie + Astons + Steamboat + Club + Kbox + Shopping = LIFE. CHEM PAPER ONE GOGOGO! w(o_o)w ROCKAAA.

2011-09-19T22:15:00.001+08:00

It's scary how we grow old to become broken souls.
I wonder if these scars would ever fade.

2011-09-17T02:05:00.000+08:00

HOW TRUE.

2011-09-17T01:52:00.008+08:00

A week of exams down, another week to go. This week ended on a pretty bad note. I guess I screwed up Econs essays with my sudden reluctance to write them in the midst of the paper. Plus I almost lost my Econs bible FREAKED THE HELL OUT OF ME!!! But thanks to some kind soul, I found it back!! YAY MAY GOD BLESS YOU, WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW GRATEFUL I AM. Anywayyyy, to celebrate the survival of this week's papers, I granted myself the permission to finish watching 美乐加油. This show reflects so damn much of my life (or is it just me?) SO DEPRESSING, especially when I see her in a state of emotional distress. 3 hours of deep sorrows and finally a happy ending (which was damn poorly presented) Y make me cry for nothing? Nevermind, happy endings are always good :)

Back to mugging tmr xoxo

'若你真的了解一个人，你会知道他做什么是真的，什么是假的.'

‘因为我爱你,我真的很爱你.我甚至可以很噁烂,很俗气地说,我是用生命在爱你.’
imy. can only keep these words within me.

Weapons don't hurt people, people hurt people.

2011-09-14T19:51:00.005+08:00

Life's just like this picture. So many rooms to fill - so many holes in your life to fill. Filling them up with people, memories, but which are the ones that are of the greatest worth? You get messed up as more and more rooms get filled. You get confused by the many lights that are switched on. Which is the one room that you want most, to go back to after a long day at work? You might have been sure all your life to which room that is, but as time goes by, you're no longer sure because the other rooms with better decorations, seem so alluring. You're tired of going back to the same old room everyday. You look at the other rooms and started to think 'Man, how I wish I could be there too.' And eventually, giving up on the room you've always been at, to take a tour around the other rooms.

What an analogy. Pardon me if it sounded crappish, it must've been the Maths paper.

Alright, no school tomorrow, two papers on Friday. Can I skip the Physics? ):

2011-09-13T20:20:00.004+08:00

“As I’ve grown, I’ve learned several things. Life is full of disappointments and people you trusted will sooner or later let you down. I’ve learned that often those you love will love someone else and there’s only one way to fall; fast and hard. I’ve learned that out of thousands of smiles, it takes one to touch your heart. I’ve found that words can be deceiving, but the truth always lies in a person’s eyes. I’ve learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye and tears often come without invitation. I’ve learned crying can make us stronger and there is never too much love to go around. I’ve learned that prejudice helps no one and that weapons don’t hurt people, people hurt people. I’ve learned sticks and stones may leave cuts and bruises but harsh words leave scars. I’ve found that every time you give someone a piece of your heart, it’s a piece that you will never get back. I’ve learned the past is meant to be put behind us and we can’t dwell on regrets, for what’s done is done. I’ve learned that trusting yourself is the first step and that forgiving is remembering that helps your own heart more then theirs. I’ve found that family isn’t always blood and everyone is someone’s hero. I’ve learned life is unexpected and that God can do anything. I’ve learned some things aren’t meant to be understood and that only time heals. I’ve found that imagination is our greatest gift and that we are meant to dream for a reason. I’ve learned it is never too late to fall in love and that being ‘beautiful’ is all on the inside. Mistakes are our best teachers and everything happens for a reason. Only then can you live life to it’s full and true potential.”

Am still learning. Am still keeping the faith. Life's good :)

how have you been?

2011-09-12T23:13:00.001+08:00

Hi I'm back again. I really like the new Blogger app coz I can finally post pictures on this mundane blog using my itouch, I've been too lazy to bother uploading the pictures onto the computer oops.

So today marks the start of Prelims. Remarkably, I felt that I wrote a pretty good and well-answered essay for GP. Hope the results wouldn't prove me otherwise. It's the first time I actually STUDIED for GP, so please don't let me down~ Physics paper 2 was...............I can't find any word to explain its disastrous impact. Haha ok maybe not that disastrous, I over-exaggerated. Died in the last 2 questions, I can predict I'll only get 1 or 2 marks from the planning question (which is out of 12). Sighhhhh. But luckily I didn't waste my time last night studying too much for it LOL. No definition questions, left everyone's jaws down. How is it possible for a Physics paper to not have definition questions?! Paper 3..........I foresee an avalanche of it.

Ok so anyway, why am I here when I have yet finished my Econs revision, and it's 1130 already. Running out of time and energy.

2011-09-11T23:26:00.001+08:00

Prelims starting in 8.5hours' time. God bless me. I'm so unprepared.

2011-09-10T22:26:00.002+08:00

I'm blessed. My life is so much better than that of so many others. What more can I ask for? I really am blessed, what I gained is so much better. Must-constantly-remind-myself-that.

Prelims in just one day's time. Pretty guilty that I've been slacking every night after an entire day of mugging. Always telling myself that in the midst of all the hardcore studying I still have to find time to chill. I suppose it's a good thing..........? :S I'm such a lousy writer, I have nothing else to say anymore. Life's been mundane except for the little drama that I think is rapidly spreading around lol. I don't mind tho <3

I smell pineapple tarts!!!!!!!!!

2011-09-05T23:54:00.004+08:00

I don't understand how pictures never change but the people in them do. Hazel said I changed a lot, compared to when I was back in Sec 1. I didn't realize until she said so. We don't realize how much things and people have changed till we mention the past, our actions and behaviour and comparing them with the present. I guess we all change, it's just whether it's for the better or for the worse. Think I belong to the latter. I don't understand how forever turns into a few short months that you'd do almost anything to get back. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn't live without. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people can erase you from their lives just because it's easier than working things out.

P's right. I shouldn't be making someone go through the same hell as me.

Anyway these few days have been the best, and also the worst. My new favourite quotation, "The past is the fucking past." Promises were meant to be broken in the first place didn't they? No matter how much you gave, how true the moments seemed to be, nothing lasts.

Went for clubbing at Rebel 2 nights ago with Sherica and a few of her friends. Downed quite a bit and we went really crazy inside. All the different kinds of moods and emotions, yet not remembering all the faces around me. Just remembered a damn hip Uncle at the dance floor who looked around 70+ years old with awesome dance moves. I salute him.

Met Baby, Bz and Hazel today for a study session + reliving of Secondary school life. Really miss those times, miss all the drama. Good old days. These people I met in Andss are still the best :)

A few more days to Prelims. JYJY!

2011-09-03T11:08:00.001+08:00

“Forgetting isn’t enough. You can paddle away from the memories and think that they are gone. But they will keep floating back, again and again and again. They will circle you like sharks. and you are bleeding your fear into the sea. Until, unless, something, someone can do more than just cover the wound.”

— (via raindropsonredroses)

2011-09-02T12:09:00.002+08:00

The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.
The past is the fucking past.

14 times.

2011-09-02T11:05:00.001+08:00

为什么?

2011-08-21T23:05:00.001+08:00

Don’t hang up.
Can we talk?
So confused
It’s like im lost.
What went wrong?
what made you go?
Don’t pretend you don’t know
This is me
Im unchangeable

When did we
Fall apart?
Or did you lie
From the start?
When you said
Its only you
I was blind
Such a fool
Thinking we
Were unbreakable

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said?
was it something that I did?
Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful.

Ive been told
Whats done is done
To let it go
And carry on
And deep inside
I know that’s true
Im stuck in time
Im stuck on you
We were still untouchable

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more.
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Cuz im only dreaming
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my head now

Because we’re much better
All together
Can’t let go.

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful

Make me unbeautiful

We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight.

2011-08-18T19:50:00.003+08:00

Alright, I shall try my best to come up with a proper post for today since I have a little spare time and the blog looks kind of dead. Been preparing for the Prelims and A's (well who isn't?) Urm yeap, but I still don't seem to be feeling the pressure I felt back then when it was the Prelims for O's. Scares me pretty much. Besides that, I managed to find chances to head out for play. Mixing around with the new gang of people is, interesting. Lol pardon my limited vocabulary. Went over to Kz's house for a drinking party, and damn, I've got to say that that night must be the most epic night ever. Free Martell (which tastes so much like Bourbon!!!), witnessing lousy Nic getting drunk and laughing over Hm's never-ending lines of words. The thought of the scenes are making me smile to myself again hahah, amusing. And the thought of Martell..........it's making me all excited again. Hi, please do not judge me. Bowling was quite comical too. I thought I was quite a good bowler from my past experiences? What happened to me that day????? Had 9 bowls that went into the drain if I didn't remember it wrongly, how is it possible?! :( It must have been due to the location we were at, the feng shui's not good enough.

Urgh I've run out of things to say. I'm such a bad writer.

Sayo!

It gets scary isn't it? To find yourself getting so much closer to someone that you start expecting things.

2011-08-17T19:20:00.002+08:00

But it's still a beautiful place as long as someone is here :)

Prelims in 3 weeks, A's in 2.5 months. Amitabah.

Places with the best memories.

2011-08-11T00:31:00.007+08:00

From the Photography Mission I was talking about during the June Holidays.

Finally had the chance to compile these shots. It's not the full picture yet though, there're still places that I haven't got the chance to revisit. Thought it would be an emotional torture to edit these photos, but it seems like I've underestimated myself. I've become someone who's strong enough to face these memories and not drop a single tear. Worthy of some praises? No doubt these memories are the best ones I've had, and I yearn to go back to these places with the same person, with the same feelings we had, but I guess it's time to move on now. To that someone (well I doubt you're still reading this blog): Remember all these places? I'm deeply appreciative and glad that you were the one who was there with me to create so much memorable laughter and smiles. If I got the chance to choose again, it'd still be you. All I want to say is, Thank you.

I've learnt a lot, and it's true that I've certainly grown quite a bit through all these experiences. Scars sure do make us stronger. :)

A million places

2011-08-09T15:58:00.005+08:00

that I wanted to go with you.

2011-08-06T22:28:00.001+08:00

Love is when he breaks your heart time after time, yet you still fall in love with him over and over again with all the bits and pieces. Love is when he makes you cry, yet you still do all that you could just to make him smile. Love is when you sit by your phone all day long waiting for his text or call, stalking him virtually, with him running through your mind constantly, even when you've said you wouldn't care. Love is when you'd say "I love you" back without hesitant when he said it to you, even after the uncountable times of heartbreaks. Love is when he's the first person in mind you wanna share 'news' with, be it good or bad. Love is when you fall asleep thinking about him, and having him as the first person appearing in your mind the moment you open your eyes. Love is when you wake up in the morning yearning to see his texts appearing on your cell. Love is when you wish for him to be by your side through all good times and bad times. Love is when the sight of him puts a smile on your face, no matter how bad the day was and how unhappy you were. Love is when you'd feel satisfied and secured enough just by interlocking your fingers with his. Love is when you'd feel happy as long as he is by your side, even if it's just laying down and forgetting the world together. Love is when all you wish for is just his happiness, be it with or without you. Love is when you could give your all and everything without expecting anything in return, even if all that he gave is nothing. Love is when you're willing to throw the pride of a lady away just to make him stay. Love is when you get jealous and paranoid when he interacts with other girls, because you love and care too much to fear of losing him. Love is when you learn to accept his flaws and see through his imperfections perfectly. Love is when you wouldn't even bother to take a glance at any other guy, because he's all that matters. Love is when there're millions of reasons for you to leave him, yet you chose to hold on to that one and only reason to stand by him. And the reason is simply, love.

From baby's blog!

2011-08-03T22:14:00.003+08:00

Days are flying past so quickly, and everyday is like the same routine - wake up, school, study, study, study, study, study, sleep, wake up, school, study................... It's only during the weekends then I'll finally get some time off for play. But I haven't been playing much either, so how did my time zoom pass so quickly?? Seems like God's been shortchanging me of 24hours/day.

Life's pretty good like this though, with friends and the Prelims and Alevels taking up all of my time. Becoming too busy and tired that I can fall asleep immediately my eye closes. Ikr, what's new, all JC kids are talking about this new talent we picked up. Peeked back at the past a little just now on the way home. I don't know, it seems so foreign yet so real. Oh the irony. Well, I thank god that at least there's someone whom I can turn to when these emotions start running back. I'm contented.

Met up with the girls just now for dinner to celebrate baobao's birthday! It's really good to see all of them again, though it's just a few weeks ago that we last met. Dwi slimmed down quite a bit!!! Oh man, should really heed some advice from her, I feel so fat!!! ):

Time for some mugging 8-)

2011-07-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

Because when you're at the rock bottom, you know the only way is up.

2011-07-28T18:43:00.003+08:00

I'm here again because I'm so tired of studying. Heh, an excuse for not studying for physics actually. Idk why I detest that subject so much... D: Pressure's been building up for the past few days, especially after we received our midyears results. I've disappointed so many teachers, well I guess all of them, and most of all myself. Shouldn't have done so well for promos last year, all these expectations are suffocating me...... I don't even know how I did it then ._. A's is so different from the O's seriously, haha quite stupid for me to only notice it now. I lost the drive I used to have back in secondary 4 - I could sit in front of my textbooks and TYSes for hourssssssss everyday and practice non-stop! It's insane. But just like every other thing, the only thing I have to do now is stop procrastinating, stop diverting my attention to everything else except A's (which apparently I can't) and continue to work harder.

On a side note, I noticed quite a lot of empty souls around lately, everyone's been falling out of you-know-what (sorry but I really hate that word now). It's really sad to see people ending up in such a sorrow state and I can't seem to help. Idk if the stories I heard were true, or for some cases I know of the stories personally. I feel for these people, knowing that they are suffering deep down but just look at them, their faces are filled with smiles. Contradictory. Masks. Ok this is depressing, shall close the issue. But I hope these people will finally make it through, or at least have their wishes fulfilled, because such awesome people have the rights to be happy wholeheartedly.

God bless them.

2011-07-27T19:45:00.003+08:00

Gonna have a proper post today! (ikr it's been agessss)

Today has been a very fulfilling day for me. Went for the Alpha Scholarship Tea session held in the afternoon and I've pretty much gained alot of insights to the world of...scholarships. Always known that I needed one in order to get into university because of my family's financial background, but I just didn't know which. I have always been ignorant about this whole 'scholarship world' since I'm a lazybug who refuses to do my own research hehe. Ok I must say I still have this long list of question marks in my mind now regarding what I want to do in future, which scholarships I want to go for, or even which university I want to go to. But I've sort of settled my mind that I want to go into the health sciences sector. Mainly because, I want to help people. (so kindhearted right!!) the speech therapist who gave the talk just now inspired me, especially when she talked about how she worked with children and they were so thankful that they wrote cards for her etc etc. Thats damn heartwarming isn't it?? ^^ Annabel kinda judged me for a moment just now though, labeling me as a pedophile ): I'm still considering if I should go for the scholarship or not though, since the local universities don't present opportunities for studies in the health science sector. Which means that I have to go overseas universities for studies. Good or bad thing? Exposure to the outside world > family and friends?

Another thing, I read zhiying's blog for the past few days (no I'm not a stalker!) and I came across her theory on this emoticon ':<' I got pretty fascinated about it. Ok so, I'm feeling :< In comparison to the normal emoticon :(, this one has a steeper bracket, which signifies a deeper sorrow? Hahah interestinggg. So when I fall into depression, it means that I'm feeling :--, where the bracket eventually becomes a straight line. Rofl. Kudos to zhiying's theory!

Yay this is such a complete post, I feel so proud of myself! Thumbs up for me (Y)

2011-07-25T16:02:00.002+08:00

I didn't want to lose faith, but it seems like no matter what I do, this hole will never be filled. Gathered all my courage and strength to tell you, but all I got was silence. It took me so long, just to think of how to phrase these words in my head, and so much, so much courage. I thought after all these years, I would still mean something. Nobody really knows, the struggles I go through, because I keep mum. Even looking at my own body is a torture, I get reminded of things I don't want to remember.

Stay strong.

Silverstein

2011-07-16T11:47:00.002+08:00

And I went for Silverstein's concert with D, Parthiban and their friend over the weekdays.

Only knew one song. PATHETIC MUCH ):

2011-07-16T10:37:00.007+08:00

Birthday eve with my babes at Jack's Place :)

Birthday with D at Sentosa and dinner with Angeline, Zhihui, Yvonne at Novena - korean bbq!

Happy birthday to meeeeee

2011-07-10T08:06:00.003+08:00

HAD AN AWESOME DAY YESTERDAYYYY!!! (although today's the actual birthday hahaha)

Spent the day with the most awesome people I know and it was certainly fulfilling~~
Yay I feel so loved and blessed with all these people in my life. Love all of them soooooo muchhhhhhh <3

Shall update in greater details sooooon!

SENTOSA LATER WOOHOOOOOOOO ^^

Hand signs

2011-07-07T21:07:00.002+08:00

Read a book on hand signs just now with Weisze, learnt a little and this is what I wanna say right now.

2011-06-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

Gonna party and party and party
till next Monday.

2011-06-22T01:55:00.001+08:00

HAHA my first gif made of Laopong's nonsense LOLLL

Enjoy the moments

2011-06-21T22:58:00.009+08:00

Last few days of enjoyment till school reopens!

Kbox with Xinlin

Had such a hard time choosing what we should do and where we should go. Satisfied with what we chose in the end, coz it was so much more worthed it to drink at Kbox!! 4 hours of singing + 1 Bourbon Coke + 1 Rum Coke = $29 (Y)

OUR SUPER EPIC SONG.
"PEI NI QU KAN LIU XING YU~~~" -points across the ceiling-

My Photography Mission with Baby!

OUR SUPER EXPENSIVE TRISHAW RIDE!! Which lasted for 10mins and costed us $10 EACH ):

The Uncle who conned our money because we acted as Taiwanese ):

We had lotsa good food during the trip!

Virgin Yoguru try. And it was pretty bad actually.

Ikea meatballs!! Have been craving for it since the start of the holidays but didn't have the chance to head down to Ikea. Finally did today!!! ^^

I'm 3/4 done with my Photography mission now. You guys must be wondering what is it about right? It's actually about going to places which bring back the happiest memories and capturing these places again using Instax films. Came up with this idea a few days back and today I finally had the chance to travel around the island to get it done! ^^ There's still quite a few more places left, but I guess I'll leave it till after mid-years since those places are pretty isolated.

Time for some mugging after such a long but happy day! :)

Life shouldn't be that complicated.

2011-06-16T23:49:00.009+08:00

Our Timbre trip last week

Singapore Sling and Kiven's super disgusting drink LOL

Ordered the wrong Jack Daniel's. They gave us this huge shot.

WE CLIMBED THIS FREAKING LONG FLIGHT OF STAIRS. MADNESS X INFINITY.

Tuesday with Lin.

Took a breather at the area outside KTPH. Laid there looking at the stars. Got to unwind ourselves for awhile which was pretty good :)

MY NEIGHBOUR HAS A FREAKING POOL TABLE AT HOME!!!

Tuesday after Clubbing

Siao kias on the train (Y)

The queue at Powerhouse that night was INSANE. We took nearly 2 hours to get in?! And the few of them just had to piss me off by ditching us there in the queue to get themselves a drink WTF. Angst. Luckily GQ was smart enough to follow the lines of people which were brought in by the Smoove organizers. On a side note, the crowd and music was quite satisfactory, except the fact that 3 groups of people almost got into fights. Interesting.

I need to chill more.

2011-06-13T16:10:00.001+08:00

Zujing's 18th

2011-06-12T19:25:00.009+08:00

This is the nachos that we ordered which costed 8 bux. Awesome huh.

Headed to Timbre @ Old School after that for dinner + drinks.

A guy called Guyver sent a message to the screens which wrote "Carol will you marry me Guyver" and he went down on his knees to propose to her when it showed up! SO SWEET RIGHT -melts-

It was such an eventful night at Timbre!

Thanks to DA BOSS for organizing such an awesome movie + Timbre treat (Y)

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY ^^

Huilin's 18th

2011-06-12T19:00:00.004+08:00

The awesome cake we got her for her 18TH WOBBLE DAY!!! ^^

We were teaching the birthday girl how to pool

Watched Super 8 > Pizzahut > Pool > IT Fair.
Happy birthday again Huilin muackzzz

Young and dumb.

2011-06-07T23:29:00.004+08:00

1. Laopong. Because she's always there (L)
2. I don't think there's any.....
3. Of the opposite sex: They never ever get satisfied with what they have.
4. Trying out new stuff, going to new places. Yap.
5. TRY TO SHUFFLE
6. Travel to Paris with a loved one.
7. My chubby face ):
8. Tonight: out to Timbre @ Old School with the Neighs. Dedicated around 5 songs and they only knew how to sing one of it, sad much.
9. D
10. "Busy for the entire holidays" to someone.
11. Someone I love
12. Midyears + Prelims + A's
13. ---
14. Shit, fart
15. 十年之后我们是朋友还可以问候只是那种温柔,再也找不到拥抱的理由.情人最后难免沦为朋友.
16. NIL
17. Telling her what I told her.
18. STUDY FOR FREAKING A'S
19.
20. \m/
21. (its the picture at 19)
22. "I'm going to sleep alrd" "Call me if you need help, I'll be at the airport for the night"
23. 1) To stop being so vulnerable. 2) To be independent. 3) Just fucking break out of the circle. 4) Have more faith in life. 5) Stop having _______ thoughts.
24. It doesn't matter whether you're famous or not, because it's the joy that really matters.
25. Just any random hot babe. I want to know how it feels to be wanted.
26. Phone, fan, laptop, GP booklet, modem
27. Don't want la, so mean.
28. Meeting someone's goddad and being in his car.
29. Being such a fool for love.
30. With mum, over the laptop.

But sorry doesn't turn back time

2011-06-06T23:46:00.002+08:00

My new eyecandy (Y)

Physically alive, Emotionally dead.

2011-06-02T22:09:00.008+08:00

Yes, I'm finally here to give this blog a CPR LOL.

Photographic Society

We've officially stepped down at the end of Term 2. It's quite saddening actually, coz the people I've met there are an awesome bunch - Huilin, Arsal, Jianhern, Yiqi, Joey. Well, actually the 6 of us only got close to each other this year, such a pity that we wasted the whole of last year not doing crazy and insane stuff in school AND outside school together.

Our attempts to SHUFFLE in mid-air. LMAO.

And our attempt to WOBBLE.

Yay I love AJPS XOXO

XCountry 2011

We didn't run LOL. Everybody who saw us went "YOU NOT RUNNING??? SO SHIOK!!!" HAHA. Actually I didn't mind running, the weather was damn good for the run PLUS it's on the F1 track, where would you get another chance of running there?! But of course, as an AJPS member, I SACRIFICED this special chance and covered the event instead ;)

Anyway, I think they cheated about the distance of the run, it's definitely way lesser than 3km/4km/5km.

We were freaked out by this lady in the toilet who was inside for at least 30 mins without making a single sound. Creepy much.

4/2 Outing!

Been so long since all of us last met each other! Including Bian, Bao, Steph, Birdie and Dwi ):

Sheesha

First time trying out with Baby, Kiv and his friends! It's nothing much actually, but I definitely got "drunk" halfway through. Got pretty high and started taking crazy pictures with Baby. Bet the guys thought we were some siao zha bor LOL.

HC Dance Night 2011

Was just a few days ago. Been so long since all of us last watched a dance performance together! (or maybe it's just me....) I got all inspired to pick up dance again but I bet my laziness would take control over me instead.

-
Why is this still killing me?

2011-05-29T22:47:00.001+08:00

Gitwap,il.

2011-05-23T10:04:00.000+08:00

I wonder what's left of the future for us.

2011-05-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hell of a coaster ride.

Take care, xoxo.

2011-05-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

What if I disappeared?

2011-05-08T20:02:00.004+08:00

I had quite a meaningful talk with someone a few days back. Sort of came to my senses. Realized that I've been constantly telling myself the wrong things, that's why I'm becoming someone I don't want to be at all.

Enough said. Promised myself that this space would be clear of my personal thoughts, since the receiver doesn't want to see all these "bullshit" either.

On a side note, school has been pretty smooth sailing (minus the fact that my cranky body that couldn't stop giving me problems such us oversleeping/stomach ache/sore throat/cough) I'm starting to love AJPS ALOT, because of the super fun people in there (Y) and I'm starting to enjoy lessons because of people like Weisze and Weiyin who would take my mind off things :) Been meeting Laopong quite frequently now too (L) though our weekly Monday plans are often called off due to unforeseen holidays, NOT THAT IT'S A BAD THING. It feels awesome to have 6 out of 10 weeks this term that are 4-day weeks ;)

I've been addicted to pool too, since my skills improved!! (Y) Just look at the picture below: totally owned D with one ball left and him 5 -shakes head for him-

This week has also been a hectic week for those above 21! GENERAL ELECTIONS 2011!

Can't believe the PAP still own so many seats in Parliament, I thought the fight this year was tough and thought many seats in the Parliament would've gone to the oppositions. WHY DIDN'T MY NICOLE SEAH GET IN??? ): She's damn admirable, for her straightforwardness. Really like how she expressed her views during rallies especially her line "If I wanted fame and money I would've joined the PAP" (Y) But sadly, we'll have to wait for another 5 years. Hope in the next round she'll be competing with someone less powerful in Parliament (unlike GCT). Speaking of that, I CAN'T BELIEVE TPL IS IN PARLIAMENT. Like seriously???

2011-05-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

2011-04-27T12:38:00.002+08:00

Missed school for 2 days. Got new pills from the doc. Threw away plenty of pills that were overdue (dated Jan last year).

Gonna head out for lunch and Photog outing! What am I supposed to tell Mr Goh?? Since I wasn't present for his class but yet present for the outing....... shall think about it over lunch.

I can be tough, I can be strong, but with you it's not like that at all

2011-04-25T21:58:00.003+08:00

Just thought I'd drop by to show you guys some cool stuff we spotted in town!
(Assuming that there're still people here reading this pathetic blog.............. ._.)

THESE 2 ARE 100% REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not those fake ones which are just piggy banks.

The Nutella weighs 5kg if I didn't remember wrongly & costs FREAKING 70$. I bet it would last you a LIFETIME.

Same goes to the ginormous Toblerone which costs a whopping 135 BUX.

I couldn't even lift these 2 up......

"No photo taking please." -Topshop

What would you do if you knew you only had one minute to live?

2011-04-22T00:16:00.009+08:00

I think I've been neglecting this space for far too long. So yeap, I'm here to share some pictures from my Itouch - don't have to bring the heavy DSLR along anymore (Y).

I can't really recall all that has happened for the past few days/weeks. But I do remember the most epic part. We, the photographers of AJPS did something no one else in AJ could've ever done. It is.......................................

*DRUM ROLLS*

TO CLUB IN AJC.

OMGOSH I SWEAR WE ARE AWESOME.

How did we manage to do that? Thanks to our Vice President who's always full of so many crazy ideas. And to quote him, "we have done almost everything we could in this school" LOL (Y) We're still waiting for Jianhern to upload all the vids though. Perhaps you guys can catch it on HD (aiseh HD somemore) at Facebook once it's uploaded. We did some epic ghost thingy too omg seriously I think the flashes made us "drunk". I hope the juniors wouldn't learn from us though, else it'd be chaotic LOL.

Anyway, speaking of Photog,

AJPS GOT 3RD FOR CANON'S SCHOOLCHALLENGE!!!!

DAMN THRILLED. ALL OUR HARD WORK OF NON-STOP CLICKING AND SCROLLING, NON-STOP VOTING, NON-STOP SUBMISSION DIDN'T GO TO WASTE THANK GOODNESS.

THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE HELPED IN THE VOTING TOO! MUACKSZX XOXO.

(In summary, I love AJPS heeeee ^^)

Btw, study dates with Laopong every Monday is great tooooo. Getting to meet my baby every week is a blessing <3 <3 <3

Caught this movie today with D, after our meal at Handburger. The meal was pretty good I would say, and I realised I've been eating quite a lot these days........... I should really start cutting down already HMMMMM. BUT EATING IS A BLESSING ISN'T IT??? Okay stop procrastinating.

Movie: Source Code. Started showing today + overpriced ($10.50 per tix) BUT TOTALLY WORTHED IT. It made me think about life, how we should cherish every moment. "What would you do if you only had 8 minutes to live?" Though it was a happy ending, I felt kind of emotional when he was about to "die". He had so many things left undone, unsaid, yet he knows that he can't live on to do or say them. What if you were in that position?

2011-04-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

Today's such an eventful day.

Ben&Jerry's. D got his Cheap Monday jeans. Movie Limitless.

When we got to B&J they were only left with Vanilla, sigh x infinity. Limitless was exciting at first but it got draggy afterwards. 2hrs seemed like 4hrs, I'm serious. On a side note, how I wish I can lay my hands on those NZT pills too. THE PILLS MAKE YOU GOD. WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT?

Maybe life isn't for everyone.

2011-04-03T10:12:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was AJ Fiesta!

It was hell of a hot day LOL. But well, the sun is definitely better than rain. Saw many familiar faces around, its been such a long time!

(Pics were supposed to be inserted here but they refuse to load)

And so, the highlight of the day was..........................

I WON AN ITOUCH!

First time ever winning in a lucky draw, what a lucky girl I am! Thankq Guest of Honour for having such great hands ^^

What are words

2011-03-29T00:48:00.006+08:00

This space has no meaning anymore. Barred from the freedom of speech.

Such a guy is so rare.

2011-03-27T02:21:00.005+08:00

Lost the blogging vibe.
Instead, I got back my mugger self. Pretty satisfied with the amount of effort I'm putting in ever since Term 2 started. Tho my test marks are still way below expectations............ Swear to myself that I'll work harder and catch up. The comment Mrs Ong gave me on my Maths test paper was heart-wrenching. It feels horrible to be such a disappointment to someone, especially in the case of my favourite subject of all.

No school on Monday! E-learning.

<--- Ask me anything! ^^

2011-03-20T00:13:00.001+08:00

Didn't know I'm such a shame to you.

People are people and sometimes we change our minds.

2011-03-19T20:06:00.005+08:00

This is why I love Tumblr.

Studying yesterday was pretty effective. And rewarding at the same time ;) Had a distraction sitting right in front of me throughout, perhaps that's why I didn't fall asleep/feel sleepy at all hehe.

--

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or be who we are. After all, seasons change; so do cities. People come into your life and people go but it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a car ride away.

I guess I don't have the luck.

People are people. And sometimes it doesn't work out.

2011-03-17T22:26:00.003+08:00

Maybe as time pass by, things change. Maybe I should stop wishing things would go back to the way they were 4 years ago. Those days were certainly the best ones in my life. But as time goes by, we all change, we all become creatures who start hurting each other, spurting out words like venom, doing things we know would break hearts. Why are we even like this? Life is starting to become so meaningless to me. Have no idea what would come next, no sense of security, no nothing. I used to feel that everyday, do you remember? My life has become so fragile, I've been fighting for it - even against my own hands. Sometimes, I just can't control these hands, if you get what I mean. Perhaps through these years, I've become a burden. Someone stopping you from reaching your dreams, someone pulling you back from letting you live your life to the fullest. Just how do I stop being a burden? Maybe if I just agreed to your request, you'll be happy. What about me? Would I be happy? In fact, it's a matter of time. I don't know how long more.

Just a sentence, si tu veux savoir combien je'taime, compte les vagues.

Now my studies are going down the drain too. Just how much more must I endure to get everything over? I feel twice as much stress as everyone else. Buried in expectations. Why did I have to do well last year? If I didn't, when I say I want to drop to a poly, nobody would give me that shocking face, telling me that I'm stupid. Do they know I'm struggling so much this year? Time is running out.

2011-03-16T02:54:00.002+08:00

I WISH I DIE OF COUGHING.

AND I'M SO DAMN DISGUSTED BY YOU. WHAT A FLIRT YOU ARE.

And the world spins madly on.

2011-03-15T23:35:00.005+08:00

Here's the MBS trip last Friday-Saturday.

It was a pretty awesome night despite being sick and being all sweaty from the walks to and fro MBS to fetch people/to get food. Actually I kinda spent half of my night playing Fruit Ninja, trying to beat the last high score LOL (evident from the picture above). The guys were having their own fun gaying around, playing around, so luckily laopong was with me so least there's someone to play fruit ninja with, HAHA I'M JOKING. Okay we did play fruit ninja tgt but we did talk too & stuff :) Fell asleep after she left though. Really can't afford to sleep with other people anymore, I do so many shitty stuff whenever I sleep............... For example, slapping people in their faces countless of times (sorry Angeline! and Laopong when I stayed at your house LOL) and talking to myself (that happens all the time. "I want strawberry!" that was retarded). I think the next time I have to sleep at a corner all by myself.

Anyway I just remembered, I have this task of asking a question here:

Does any guy wear female jeans???

Comment at formspring. TYVM!

--

The truth is, we're all riding in that elevator. We're all rising and falling, moving from one floor to another, wanting so badly for those doors to open. We're all waiting to go home, to find a place where we can call home. I kind of found mine, but it's just so uncertain. I feel intimidated. I would never measure up to that standard of yours. It's like I can never be enough.

Everyday I'm shuffling

2011-03-12T22:13:00.003+08:00

Sorry for being away for so many days. This place's getting boring, old and rusty I wonder if there's still any signs of human beings here...........

Wasn't busy shuffling everyday (referring to title), but busy with school work, tests, partying, being sick, work etc. The title's referring to our F4's favourite song currently, Davis Neo just can't stop singing it everyday, cute boy.

For the past 2 weeks I was part of this JXP Programme whereby the chosen AJCians would have to host Chinese NUS Scholars. There wasn't any home stay or missing of lessons so it was pretty much alright. Totally didn't want to take part at first, if not for the random selection (blame it on my luck).

Yeap here's my buddy. Things were kinda smooth sailing for the first week but it was chaotic for the second I would say. Yeap so apparently, as predicted, I can't really communicate well with her and she had to total bitch-text me. Like wow, how cool can things get. Yes, we kind of quarreled 2 days before the programme officially ended. Pardon my generalization but ain't scholars supposed to have basic discipline? Totally appalled by her actions and words, they showed me the opposite. Alright, should stop the procrastination, shan't say much further.

Me & D had good food for the past few days too, which ruined my diet plans sigh. But I think it's amazing how I'm loving Sakae now when I hated it so much just a few months back.

Fell sick, and am still sick also though. High fever which resulted from the sore throat I woke up in the morning with. So I got to fulfill my plans for skipping school on Friday for MBS, but sad thing is I didn't get to fully enjoy the MBS trip because of the damn sickness. I DIDN'T GET TO SWIM ): To look on the bright side, they went down the water when it was 6am in the morning, when the water was freezing cold. Hmmmm I think not going down is still a better choice? haha. Least I got Carl and D to take photos from their view in the water for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ^^

Shall update more about MBS the next time when I get the photos, which I think would be another week later since davis' such a slowpoke in uploading pics. I bet he has forgotten all about the photos till he sees this post LOL

2011-03-12T18:39:00.001+08:00

"An earthquake struck Japan. A tsunami hit Hawaii, Japan, and Russia, and maybe more. The government is KILLING people in Libya. Soldiers die everyday for our country. There are homeless people with no food or water. There are children dying of disease there is no known cure for. People everywhere need items to survive and all we do is take, take items that we don’t need. Food that is wasted could feed a starving child. The clothes you throw away because they are ‘so last season’ could clothe a homeless person for a year. Even if you have no money to spare for these people please send them a prayer."

What's happening to our world.

And sorry if I'm such a bad girlfriend to you.

2011-02-27T22:13:00.001+08:00

Would do this everyday.

J1 Bonding

2011-02-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

I think the J1 Bonding session was quite successful!

Feel that the J1s pretty much enjoyed themselves from the games we planned. Though it started to rain halfway through and some of our games couldn't be carried out. Our last minute game was extreme fun at least - musical chairs! Haha we're kids at heart, totally deprived childhood huh!

Especially Arsal who had that evil grin on his face when it was the J1's turn to play and he was the controller of the songs. The J1s totally fell for every trick of his LOL.

But when it was our turn it got pretty nasty as well. All Arsal's fault actually >(

This was Human Tic Tac Toe that we played before it started raining. Quite exciting when they were screaming numbers from everywhere and we were in a daze. I pity the circles though, look at how tiring it was to lift their hands up throughout.

Our super failed hand tangling game that we tried to involve the whole club in. Apparently the people at the 2 ends couldn't reach each other and the guys (who were squatting in the middle actually since you can't really see them) were suffocating. Well least we got to know how everybody smell like LOL.

Then we had pizzas to sum it all up!

AJPS (L)

2011-02-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

And we don't deserve to be fucking fooled around like your toy.

Real men never stop trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he got her.

2011-02-20T23:18:00.003+08:00

Couldn't be bothered to update this space the past few days, nothing interesting happened and there are no photos to share ):

How I wish Singapore was much bigger/interesting/more beautiful.

Just imagine her to be like this. How awesome would it be? Bet no one would want to leave the island by then. I wonder how long more do I have to save in order to get a chance to view such a mouth-dropping scenery...........

Let's see. Friday we met the J1 photog kids (well think its just me who die die wanted to go and see them LOL). Not much of a surprise I was hoping for though...... Speaking of photog, I have this damn (Y) lobang - Canon 550D with 18-135mm lens at only $1490. IT'S DAMN TEMPTING I SWEAR. OMG SHOULD I GET IT? D: It's been forever since I said I wanted to get a DSLR for myself (I remember I said that since sec2). But since I'm an economics student, I should weigh the opportunity costs of it:

- It takes my family 5 months to earn that money
- I would have to drop my idea of going overseas after A's/just go Msia

K can't think of anything else. HOW NOW BROWN COW?????? ): I'm in such a huge dilemma.

Besides that, I've been eyeing on this Nixon Time Teller. Just look at how amazing the design and colours are!!!! The designer's a genius.

Can someone get me this one??????? -points below, showing innocent eyes-

Or maybe this

Or this

;)

2011-02-16T11:52:00.003+08:00

These few days of life:

You and I walk a fragile line

2011-02-11T19:36:00.003+08:00

The dance damn cute ttm, no?

I'm starting to fall in love already.

JOKING!!

Too late for me, missed such an awesome concert. Watched the vids and felt so touched idk why too. She's pretty good at interacting with the audience.

I'm only human.

2011-02-07T19:44:00.003+08:00

2011-02-06T20:33:00.004+08:00

Our long Chinese New Year holiday's coming to an end, how sad. Haven't really touched my homework, and I'm refusing to touch em >(

These few days had been pretty awesome, got to see so many people....it's been a year! Grandma can't walk, and she hardly recognises me which is such a sad thing. She's getting so old already. Didn't get to see relatives from my Dad's side coz my other grandma just passed away, so all of us didn't head down on the first day. Went Uncle and Aunt's house to visit in the morning today though. Uncle told me about how Ahma would still be around if the doctors didn't change the oxygen tank and all. He also said that day they chose to let her leave instead of forking out more money to cure her, coz of her bedridden condition. Pretty sad. After hearing I got pretty worried for my other Grandma.

Day One I followed Davis to his mother's side relatives houses. Lion dance again this year at the same house, but I missed the earlier one at his Grand's. I realised I didn't get to lao any yu sheng this year!!! WHY LIDDAT? ):

Day Two went to my Mum's side. Blackjack was the highlight of the day coz I won $36!!!!! (highest record evaaaa) Got 8 ban lucks within the whole game, damn awesome ^^ All of them were complaining how good my luck was hehe. But I guess that was my only lucky day.

Day Three met Davis, Carl, Zh and Angeline for house visiting. Blackjack again at D's place. No win no lose. And it was pretty entertaining to see Zh get so tensed up LOL. Oh and yesterday was also the day I ate the most. Ate so much till I got hiccups all night it was damn irritating.

Went over to Huilin's house today! Her house's pretty much like mine, nothing to do haha. We took alot of photos though! ^^

Alrighty bai!! Am gonna visit more houses in the coming weeeeek :D

I close my eyes but all that I can see is someone I'm never gonna be

2011-02-03T20:16:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BUNNY YEAR!!!

This was my class yesterday! Our awesome idea of bunny ears for CNY celebrations (tho around 10 of them didn't get it and almost a quarter of the class didnt come). And I was late for school....... such a waste of my one late coming for the term ):

Successfully psychoed Weisze to go to town with me after the celebrations. Sakae Buffet for lunch (I have no idea what has gotten into me to not hate sushis anymore) and intended to hunt and get new heels for the new year but in the end I chose not to get it because I felt that it was too expensive (which now I regretted and am going down some other day to get it). And it was her 4th time to FEP! Totally couldn't believe it hmmmmmm.

First day of CNY today was pretty satisfying. Least I didn't need to stay home like Mum. Can't wait for the next few days! Lazy to do homework leh damn it.

With the weight of the world on my shoulders

2011-01-29T23:15:00.005+08:00

Hi peeps. (this sounds so much like Nadhilla) Alright this week has been great so far! Except for the fact that I got very stressed up over school work..... ):

Yeap so yesterday was CCA Carnival!!! I was so excited over it because I was issued a very important task (okay actually I was the one who came up with the idea) and did it up so perfectly :D

THIS IS THE OUTCOME!!!! -POINTS DOWN-

So proud of myself, muchhhhh ^^v

That afternoon was quite monotone though I feel. Only interesting parts were the shoutings and screamings of "JOIN PHOTOG" and the flash mob(s).

I have nothing to say already ley.

They've got me on the outside, looking in

2011-01-25T22:09:00.002+08:00

What I feel every day.

The J1s are coming in tomorrow. I'm feeling so anxious, as though I'm a J1 going into a new school tomorrow. Any juniors coming to join me in AJ?

CCA Carnival in 2 days. Pretty much excited for it 'coz me and Brenda are going to design & draw our own Photog tees!!! Kay, it's a little "cheap" but what else can we do, we don't have the real tee done yet.

Homework starting to pile up again. I'm pretty much ashamed of myself now. I don't understand P&C, Maclaurins, Macro Econs, Electricity.......... and the list goes on. Someone save me please? I feel so......helpless. How am I supposed to peer tutor Shin like this? On a side note, should I quit my job already? Need some opinions here.

Tell the truth, give it up.

2011-01-23T21:24:00.005+08:00

Chinatown last Friday with the Photog group. Photoshoot of the theme "Mood". Well, honestly speaking, I didn't bother much about the theme (as you can see). Came by lots of interesting sightings - Singaporeans being ill-tempered when they see us taking photos of them, awesome Caucasians who openly smile at the cameras, comical Uncles who were giving away free puddings, passerby commenting on how we were just "learning photography" using BASIC cameras etc. It's great how Chinatown seemed so much like Taiwan. Reminds me of the night markets there. Met a Taiwan guy while shooting too. The accent he carried with him totally made me go "AWWW I MISS TAIWAN SO MUCH".

Sometimes, I get so deep in thoughts, I ponder about every little thing. What Girls hate about Guys: Ogle at other girls. But I guess no guy would get it, would they?

School again tomorrow. No Monday Blues, because Monday is the best day of the week!

I can't force these eyes to see the end.

2011-01-20T22:18:00.001+08:00

I miss you, so much.